In some conversations which we have, we may think ‘that man has such an enormous ego – I’ve never known anyone so full of themselves!’.
One dictionary definition states “someone's ego is their sense of their own worth. For example, if someone has a large ego, they think they are very important and valuable. He had a massive ego; never would he admit he was wrong.”
It is the latter part of this definition that often leads blokes into spaces they would rather not be; not talking about the stuff which is important to wellbeing. This may be personal issues to do with relationships, finance, family, work and/or any other issues which are challenging us.
Perhaps part of this ego equation for blokes is enshrined in the main things we worry about, which quite often are about the traditional expectations of society, our place in society - career-wise and success wise. As a collective, ‘us’ blokes are still perceived by how much we are earning and how well we are doing - being defined by the work we do. We are more than this.
Additionally, our social/spiritual wellbeing needs to be better understood and made a higher priority by all blokes and society. We talk about it in all our education sessions. For us it is where we find: Our identity, Our individuality, Our own sense of self, Our sense of belonging, How to express our passions and interests. It is what each of us wants it to be.
In practical terms this is us blokes talking about and being more than our work. In conversations with each other, we should be talking about the fact that we are a dad, a brother, a grandfather, an uncle, a husband, a family man, a rally driver, BBQ king, handyman, and/or chef. By talking about what makes us tick, (in part, our ego) we can put a positive spin around the meaning of ego - the main one being admitting we are wrong and/or when we are struggling with life, it is okay to talk!!
Culturally, blokes in general are fixers ‘I’ll just fix this myself” so we always must question what we are fixing, how we are fixing it, and when we are fixing it? We know all men need to talk, the million-dollar question is to whom and where? Everyone needs their personal space. For blokes to engage and have a conversation, we need a safe place, and quite often a place with a masculine vibe. This can be represented by the Men’s Shed, a sporting club, a social club, just leaning over the back of the ute, or even the barber shop.
We need to have this conversation now; Our ego is not that complex, it is part of our DNA. Remember our saying before it gets too much ‘Talk to a Mate!!
Owen and the Team
The Regional Men’s Health Initiative
delivered by Wheatbelt Men’s Health (Inc.)
PO Box 768, Northam WA 6401
Phone: 08 9690 2277